XDA

Went alone to Pirates of the Caribbean: at World's End and three hours later, I left the theater. Nothing that happened in the meantime made any sense but what really was I expecting of a movie, third in a series, based on a ride at Disneyland?

I don't know if they ever identify when this thing is supposed to be happening. My knowledge of English uniforms is a little rusty, as is my sense of fashion through the ages. (I can identify Empire dresses). The pirates had weapons from at least two centuries. If pressed, I would say early/mid 1700s. So, supposedly at that time there were pirates all over the world who were in league with each other and who had the power to 'bind' a Goddess. That's not the Earth in the 18th Century I recognize.

Calypso, for the record, was a Naiad, a sea nymph, not quite a Goddess, who spent several years with Odysseus. The movie version Calypso did seem to have an affinity for crabs and a Jamaican accent you could use as a leather softener. I like the actress, Naomie Harris, very much--she was the tough as nails heroin in 28 Days Later and was down to Earth delightful in Tristam Shandy. However, what her role was in the story is difficult to detect. The story was often difficult to detect.

I'm reminded of the Matrix trilogy. The first good movie did not support a sequel but they pieced together enough ideas to get through it, but the third movie was incoherent.

You can't satisfy the discerning moviegoing public with a mere series of special effects. If we don't care what happens next, because we don't know what's happening now, there's no emotional impact. This was a very expensive sound and light show. Depp was pretty good, again, but Keith Richard must have thought he was in a serious historical drama. I guess his mere presence was the joke. Ha Ha Ha.

Labels: Bad Pirate Movies