Monday, June 22, 2020
The Invention of Slavery
Wait, I was assured by Virginia Senator Tim Kaine that America invented slavery, yet here is a painting from 1882 depicting a slave market in Rome 2000 years ago.
Senator Kaine must therefore be a moron, or a Democrat.
Labels: Gustave Boulanger; Slave Market
Saturday, June 13, 2020
Bending the Knee
Wednesday, June 10, 2020
My Nomination for Next Year's Pulitzer for Poetry
Saturday, May 23, 2020
Funny Because It's True
A very useful guide to applications of common tools – you may want to review frequently:
DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted project which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it.
WIRE WHEEL: Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprints and hard-earned calluses from fingers in about the time it takes you to say, 'Oh shit!'
DROP SAW: A portable cutting tool used to make studs too short.
PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of blood-blisters.
BELT SANDER: An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs.
HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle... It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.
VISE-GRIPS: Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.
OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting on fire various flammable objects in your shop. Also handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub out of which you want to remove a bearing race.
TABLE SAW: A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood projectiles for testing wall integrity.
HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering an automobile to the ground after you have installed your new brake shoes, trapping the jack handle firmly under the bumper.
BAND SAW: A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops to cut good aluminum sheet into smaller pieces that more easily fit into the trash can after you cut on the inside of the line instead of the outside edge.
TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST: A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength of everything you forgot to disconnect.
PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids or for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads.
STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER: A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws and butchering your palms.
PRY BAR: A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.
HOSE CUTTER: A tool used to make hoses too short.
HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts adjacent the object we are trying to hit.
UTILITY KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts. Especially useful for slicing work clothes, but only while in use.
ADJUSTABLE WRENCH: aka "Another hammer", aka "the Swedish Nut Lathe", aka "Crescent Wrench". Commonly used as a one size fits all wrench, usually results in rounding off nut heads before the use of pliers. Will randomly adjust size between bolts, resulting in busted knuckles, curse words, and multiple threats to any inanimate objects within the immediate vicinity.
SON OF A BITCH TOOL: Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage while yelling 'SON OF A BITCH!' at the top of your lungs. It is also, most often, the next tool that you will need. H/T Cousin
h/t Ace of Spades HQ
Sunday, May 17, 2020
Rule 48 and General Flynn
Labels: General Flynn legal musings
Tuesday, March 31, 2020
Thought of the Day
The warning here is one about bureaucracy, government, and human nature. This crisis, like all crises before it, whether real or phony, always engenders "temporary" measures. For those not up on their history, the crisis of First World War brought about the imposition of the federal income tax that was intended only to last for the duration. The armistice went into effect on 11/11/18. That's 1918, not 2018, which means that that temporary measure is now a little over 101 years old. It should be noted that every red cent of revenue generated since our war debt was paid off has gone to fuel an ever-growing, ever-intrusive, ever-incompetent bureaucracy that is wielded of, by and for the Left to destroy our individual freedoms and make us little more than slaves or serfs. Because that is the nature of bureaucracy; not to solve or end a problem (doing so would obviate their continued existence), but to expand and gain ever more power. And sadly, that is also the nature of human nature, which is the very reason why the Founders rebelled against the crown in 1776 and what defines "exceptional" in American exceptionalism. That is, America as founded was supposed to be the exception to the darker side of human nature and the tyranny and oppression that came before it.
J. J. Sefton at Ace of Spades HQ
Labels: Thought of the Day: J.J. Sefton
Friday, March 27, 2020
Take the Test
So, skiff or dinghy?
Asking the important questions, always.
Labels: 2016 Performance Art