XDA

I almost missed breakfast with the boys this morning because of rampant bureaucracy. Let me explain. I had to get my car tested at one of the many emission testing sites along the Front Range in Colorado. I was lazy the first two weekends in February but I was ready last Saturday to get it done, but the weather interfered and it was too cold to test. OK, one last Saturday was left. Today.

So, knowing this is the last Saturday of the month (when there is a procrastinator's rush) and it would be worse due to the closure last Saturday, the station I went to, on Lipan near Evans, had three employees show up. Three by 8:15 am. There are 7 bays for testing and if all the stations are manned, that would mean 21 employees plus the employees out of sight in the offices. There were three there when I arrived.

So, fifteen minutes after opening, two bays are testing. Very. Slowly. There are about 15 cars waiting. The front station guy is making a show of hustle. He's running back and forth from an office to where the cars are. He's chatting on a cell phone (I'm hoping that he's calling for reinforcements) and by 8:30 am, two cars have been tested as I waited. That ain't so good. Another employee arrives. He's of the school of Tommy Chong grooming, but his presence allows a third bay to start testing. Very. Slowly. That's the line I queue up for.

People are giving up in disgust both in front and behind me. I like it when someone in front drives away. There is a line for four wheel drive and all wheel drive. One lady has one of these cars but she is in the wrong line. The really hustling employee tells her that she has to drive back to the end of the correct line. Her face is a mask of barely suppressed outrage.

By just before 9:00 am, my car is in the building itself and I am in a little glass lined booth where we wait. And wait. And wait. Apparently it takes a lot of typing into computers to get the testing machine ready for the car. Finally the Caucasian Tommy Chong (CTC) drives my car to where big metal rollers in the floor will measure the speed of my wheels while the car remains in place, with a sniffer on the tail pipe. After a few trips back and forth from my car to the computer terminal, CTC begins to drive my car in place. The actual testing takes 92 seconds. He drives my car to the exit side of the building. It's 9:22 am. Then one of the original three guys (I'm not sure but perhaps another one has shown up) spends 13 minutes testing my gas tank and cap, to see if they can take pressure, and obtaining from the inside office $15.00 in change for my two twenty dollar bills. By 9:35 am, one hour and 20 minutes after I lined up, I'm out of there having passed my testings usually having only 1/10th the allowable emissions. Now I can register my car.

The Rocky Mountain News mentions today their and Governor Owens' opposition to this line up and wait sort of testing and preference for detecting on the streets real pollution sources (like my friend Roger's green smoker car). I'm with them.