Thursday, July 19, 2007
My Evening with Gay Prostitute Mike Jones
In a so far elusive campaign to win a big $40 off our bar tab at various pub trivia contests, my team, such as it is, is now called Suburban Gay Sex because a few of the original members were, well, homosexual (not that there's anything wrong with that) and good guys who are friends with my oldest daughter. I can do OK on history, general trivia, politics, movies and classic rock, but I'm lost on recent TV, music, and a long, long list of other things, so we need some hip young guys and girls to keep in the game. Last night at the Irish Rover on Broadway, however, was not our night. I doubt if we scored even in the top 10, but it was made interesting not in the least by the presence of perhaps Colorado's most famous gay 'escort' and masseur, Mike Jones. Jones is not that tall, and affects the pumped up look of 50s icon Steve 'Hercules' Reeves, or more accurately the look of the cartoon ads for the after of the 98 pound weakling with sand kicked in his face now in a builder's body, even down to the hairstyle. He's OK looking, I guess.
He proceeded to ask 8 questions about the sexual preferences of disgraced Colorado Springs Evangelist Ted Haggard (Pastor Ted) which I cannot repeat here because my mother might read this. Not actively disgusting but I was not alone in the bar wanting to get back to mundane, non sexual trivia. A copy of his slightly less than bestselling book, I Had to Say Something: The Art of Ted Haggard's Fall, was a prize for the various bonus questions, I guess second prize was two copies.
There was definitely a yin/yang going on in the bar--two Jägermeister girls were there in tight clothes pumping up interest in drinking that vile Kraut liqueur. I'm not sure they were that successful (I got a hat, a lanyard and a blinking button and I didn't have to even take a sip) because they were up against the celebration of kissing (etc.) and telling on the in the closet religious leader. I have no interest in defending Haggard-- I don't see him as a hypocrite as much as I see him as a human who had turned to religion in an effort to be good or 'normal' but wasn't able to keep his pants on, apparently like a few of the world's clergy. However, I don't actually see the joy in Haggard's continuing humiliation nor do I admire in any way Jones' revelations: Not brave, not interesting, not anything other than the basest form of gossip. And what of Jones' character, or, in the parlance of today's psychotherapists, his self image? Is he a better guy for selling his story like he used to sell himself? I have to think no. Hardly anyone talked to him at the bar. What the heck were you going to say?
He proceeded to ask 8 questions about the sexual preferences of disgraced Colorado Springs Evangelist Ted Haggard (Pastor Ted) which I cannot repeat here because my mother might read this. Not actively disgusting but I was not alone in the bar wanting to get back to mundane, non sexual trivia. A copy of his slightly less than bestselling book, I Had to Say Something: The Art of Ted Haggard's Fall, was a prize for the various bonus questions, I guess second prize was two copies.
There was definitely a yin/yang going on in the bar--two Jägermeister girls were there in tight clothes pumping up interest in drinking that vile Kraut liqueur. I'm not sure they were that successful (I got a hat, a lanyard and a blinking button and I didn't have to even take a sip) because they were up against the celebration of kissing (etc.) and telling on the in the closet religious leader. I have no interest in defending Haggard-- I don't see him as a hypocrite as much as I see him as a human who had turned to religion in an effort to be good or 'normal' but wasn't able to keep his pants on, apparently like a few of the world's clergy. However, I don't actually see the joy in Haggard's continuing humiliation nor do I admire in any way Jones' revelations: Not brave, not interesting, not anything other than the basest form of gossip. And what of Jones' character, or, in the parlance of today's psychotherapists, his self image? Is he a better guy for selling his story like he used to sell himself? I have to think no. Hardly anyone talked to him at the bar. What the heck were you going to say?
Labels: Bar Trivia Contest
